Letter 24 – A funeral

Kushe aw di bodi (hello how are you)

I want to tell you a story today about our son’s friend A. This all happened today, and it isn’t done yet. A’s dad died last night after being sick for a long time. This morning we “greeted the death” as they call it. We went to the house where the body was. The women sit inside (relatives), surround the body and sing. The men, relatives, and greeters sit outside. It is custom to bring money for the family, – the closer the person to you – the more the money. The money is not handed directly to the family, it goes first to someone of a higher position than you. So, we gave money to the pastor, who counted it in front of all, and thanked us. He then handed it to a VIP who did the same… Finally, it gets to the family inside who comes out to thank us. We gave two different times. John gave once – a large amount, and we gave a smaller amount. I’ll finish this when the day is done. Since we’re considered VIP’s, we will be notified when the burial is to be, and we will go. Burial is done the same day, if possible, for obvious reasons (it is very hot and there is no refrigeration available to keep the body). We really like S and A – there are really good friends to John.

4:30 p.m. I’ve returned from the burial, but before I went, I had to help carry a woman to the dispensary whose husband had beat her. What a day?

Well A’s mom has little money, so they couldn’t afford a coffin. The church has one that they “loan” and then take the body out of it at the burial site. Since he was a Christian, it was a pretty typical graveside service (no church service). The people who watch put sticks and branches in the hole to keep the body from washing up. When the service is done, all the men take a turn helping to fill the grave with dirt. Perry took a turn on behalf of John. When people leave the site, they put one rock in a bucket, so the family can count how many people attended. After all that is done, the women prepare a meal for all those who have come.

Sometimes an all-night service or wake is held for the deceased. It can be the night before or after depending on when the person died. If there is a wake, the men will build a temporary shelter in front of the house and set up benches. For a Christian, the service is organized by the church and involves times of singing, prayer, and several messages. Between these, different types of food are served. Because A’s family is poor there will be no wake held. This is because it is the responsibility of the family to provide all of the food and they cannot afford to do this.

Life will be difficult for the family now and I know that we will become more involved in helping care for A. This will probably involve helping with school fees, buying clothes, and maybe sending rice and other basic food items home with him when we sense a need.

We are learning that our children are an important aspect of our ministry here and provide unique and special opportunities to share God’s love with those around us in our community.

Well, that has been our day here in GB. And because of the death and funeral, all work was suspended so our workers could attend and help this family. Today we cared for a family in need. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. But there is one thing, it will bring more opportunities to learn about the people we have come to serve and how to live in a way that will honor God.

Nancy