Ordination
Journal Entry June 1983
The day has come. But it is not the day I was planning on. I am still not sure what you have in mind Lord. When you called me to be a missionary it was very clear. I can still hear your voice speaking as if it was only yesterday.
I was only eleven and it was one of the rare summers that we didn’t go to the farm. My summer was filled with playing baseball in the KYF youth league and attending Camp Hickory for a week. That week changed my life. It was a great week and lots of fun. I enjoyed memorizing scriptures and even won the award for the most memorized.
But the last night was when it happened. Instead of the usual worship time, they took us to a campfire site to talk to us about God’s desire to speak to us. They asked one question and then invited people to share. What did you learn about God this week? If you wanted to share something they had a stick for you to throw in the fire as a symbol that you wanted to obey God and use what you had learned. It was then I heard your voice. It was loud and clear, as if you were standing next to me and talking into my ear.
You said you wanted me to be a missionary doctor. So I got up and shared it using those exact words. The next day the camp nurse, who had served as a missionary took time to talk to me and encourage me.
Years later when it came time to choose my major in college, I entered the pre-med program and graduated with a major in science. I took the medical entrance exam and applied to several medical schools. All of them rejected my application. I was a little surprised but not discouraged. I decided that it would be good to return home and for the next year, I worked as an orderly in a hospital, mainly in the emergency room, and was allowed by a number of doctors to observe in surgery.
I applied again to medical school and was again rejected. As I thought about this, I remembered receiving a letter from Bethel Seminary just before I graduated from college inviting me to attend the seminary. I decided that while I waited to re-apply to medical school, I would do a master’s in theology sensing it would be good to increase my knowledge of the Bible.
After graduating from seminary, I applied to medical school (again), only to be rejected (again). I was confused and decided to go home and work on paying off my school bills and study to retake the entrance exam. But the day I was to take the exam I sensed that I should not take the test but that I needed to return to seminary and complete the Master of Divinity program and find work as a pastor. I can’t explain it, but you gave me such peace in my decision.
A year later I met Nancy and we were married. I also reconnected with the Wesleyan Church where my parents attended when I was born, and I met D K. He had been a member of the youth group and my parents were the youth leaders at that time. Don offered me a job as his assistant pastor, while I finished my studies and graduated. And now, I am about to be ordained and will start work as a senior pastor in a small church.
None of this fits. That you called me to be a missionary is still very clear. Although my journey has not always been clear, Nancy and I are continuing to pursue the calling you gave me 20 years ago. We are taking steps to become missionaries, but I still could not make sense of the doctor part.
Thinking it might mean something else, I started work on a doctoral program with a focus on non-formal learning. Nancy and I agreed that this could be very useful in teaching your word to others when we arrive in the Philippines or wherever you send us. However, I then injured my eye. I was able to complete one of the classes with the help of many friends who were willing to read aloud my texts to me. To complete the other class I needed Nancy’s help. We spent days in the library, I did the research and she found the material for me to read and copy what I needed. But now that we are moving to Iowa, I do not think it will be possible to continue classes and so I am feeling lost again.
Lord help me understand what it all means. Clearly you are guiding us down a very specific path. I can see where you have directed us. The doors that have closed and the doors that have opened. I know you spoke to me and we are clearly on the path you have chosen. In all of this I am beginning to understand more and more the amazing treasure you have given me in Nancy. Help us to keep our eyes on you as we take the next steps, knowing that one day it will all be made clear. And for now, help me do the best job of being a husband, father, and a pastor and guiding others in following you in their lives.
Perry J
What has God called you to do? What happens when you don’t see clearly where God is leading? Or your idea of where you think he is leading doesn’t match what is happening?