Letter 01 The Right Guy

Letter 1 A – Letter from Nancy
Topic – the Right Guy
August 24, 1979
Dear Diary,
I have been thinking a lot about my life and trying to understand why I kept bringing guys home to the farm. I think it was because I am looking for something in each of them that will tell me he was the right person for me and someone I could possibly marry.
I wonder sometimes if bringing them home was sort of a test to see how they would respond to the people I love and also how my family would respond to them. I also think it was about discovering if the young man would be able to understand who I am by learning something about where I grew up and my relationship with my parents and the rest of the family. Bringing them to the farm told me a lot about their character and what kind of person they were.
I have learned to watch my Dad and how he reacts to them. He is a great judge of character and reveals his opinion of my visitors in very subtle ways. The way he laughs when we are telling stories in the presence of my visitor and how my visitor reacts to Dad is so telling. I watch to see if my visitor pulls back, becomes uncomfortable, or joins in.
I have also learned something else through all of this. I discovered that I was not comfortable with the nature of my life and what I was doing in the way of work. I know I wanted to be involved in helping others and that the person who I wanted in my life needed to have that desire as well. And yet, nothing I had tried so far had allowed me to have a sense of peace about my goal.
I think it was why I have made so many changes. I thought that being a medical secretary might open a door to being able to help others, but I discovered that instead of opening avenues to that desire I became isolated and only dealt with the paperwork. I didn’t have a chance to connect with those whose lives I was recording in the data files. I knew details, but not the person.
As a result, when I saw the information on Oakhills Bible Institute I decided that maybe I should go to Bible school and that I might find God’s direction for me and maybe meet that person who would help me fulfill my desire to help others. Joining a ministry team was great and I enjoyed the opportunity to travel and made some wonderful friends, but to be honest, there was never really enough time to do much serving. Sometimes it felt more like others were doing the serving and taking care of us so that we could travel.
So, I left and enrolled in the psychiatric tech training program in Anoka Votech to be able to work in Anoka State Hospital to work with people in real need. But once again I found myself struggling and when the lady sat on me and nearly suffocated me I became disillusioned and quit. I took the next job available which was a secretary to an asphalt company. I felt a bit lost and discouraged.
That is when I met Perry. And on a softball field of all places. My friend Linda invited anyone who wanted to come over afterwards for snacks and he came. We began to talk, and I learned that he was going to seminary to be a missionary. That fascinated me and so when he asked if I would come over and help clean his apartment, I went. It was a mess, dust everywhere because he was building furniture in the bathroom. When he found out that I grew up on a farm, he became quite animated. Turns out he loved being on the farm. He had spent many summers helping his grandpa on his dairy farm. My head was spinning. Here was a guy who already loved farms and had a clear idea of ministry. I can’t explain it, but there was something there that I knew I wanted to learn more about.
The next shock was when he made a comment that would change my life. He told me that if we were going to continue dating, then I had to be willing to go anywhere with him because God had called him to be a missionary. Honestly, I had no idea what that meant and thought he would change his mind in time. What I could tell was, here was someone who could help me fulfill my desire to serve others. In fact, even before we were married, he made me a part of everything he was doing as an assistant pastor working with children.  That changed everything for me.
I finally understood that my life could be fulfilling and that there was someone who would make my dream of service a reality.
And the fact that he was fun to be with, loved to laugh, and wanted me in his life made it so easy to say yes when he asked me to marry him.
Well this has been a long entry, but I needed to share a little of my journey and how God helped me find the right person to share my life with. I have found someone who can help me fulfill my desire to serve others in a way that will honor God.
Love you.
Nan

share your thoughts on the following questions
1. What was it that convinced you to start dating and marry your spouse?
2. Whose approval is important?
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